I've gone over these things on "friendship" in my head (which is the way to go over things). And if I were to write those thoughts it would be a blog longer than perhaps anyone is willing to read. Therefore, I want to say a little something instead ("little"is relative), for whatever it's worth.
Jesus says great love is the love in the hearts of those who lay down their lives for their friends (Jn 15:13). In saying this, Jesus speaks more about love than friendship. But He does imply that being the best kind of friend entails sacrifice. Then the Apostles Paul and John write of laying down our possessions for friends (2 Co 8-9; 1 Jn 3). Actually, they speak of doing this for any Christian. So certainly we must do it for our Christian friends. And while Jesus is our ultimate example of friendship, we do see it modeled, though to a lesser degree, in others, like Jonathan and David, in 1 Samuel 18-20. Jesus connects friendship with love and then with sacrifice (Jn 15:1-17), as does the account in 1 Samuel. So in answer to my friend's question on the essence of friendship, I would start there, with love evidenced by sacrifice. This is basic; "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. . ." (Jn 3:16), to make us His "friends" (Jn 15:1-17).
If we take the above as foundational to friendship, then the other questions can be answered rather easily, at least at the beginning. So yes, Christians do have to be good friends with each other because Christians must love each other. Some of those relationships will be more enjoyable than others because some folks are just more likable than others, more pleasant, easier to be with. And I think there are other factors like common interests, personality types, and simply how someone makes us feel when we're with them. From reading the Gospels, it appears that Jesus, in His humanity, was "closer" to some of His disciples than others.
My friend's final question caught my attention because of the way it describes the lonely as "acknowledged by many but pursued by none." My opinion is that this is precisely where so many of us live, wrongly. We acknowledge but do not pursue. Perhaps the most ignored commandment in the Bible is from Philippians 2:3-5, "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Have this mind in yourselves. . ." Who does this with any consistency? Answer: only the humble. Love evidenced in sacrifice flows from humility. Humility means counting others more significant than ourselves and looking to their interests. This is the pinnacle of friendship.
I believe that many Christians hear Philippians 2:3-5 and wrongfully reckon that it can't be done; the Apostle asks too much. He asks us to assume the mentality and humility of Jesus, who (if you continue in the chapter), though He is God, laid down His divine rights and privileges and not only condescended to become a creature, but a servant, and then a crucified sacrifice. This is friendship -- humility driven sacrifice rooted in love that puts the significance and interests of others above our own. So instead of reading Philippians 2 as if it contained fantasy commands, we should ask God to make us like His Son -- good for and useful to our friends. Next, we should consider those friends by making a list of their needs and then go about meeting them, sacrificially and abundantly, like Jesus met our greatest need. And if we can't meet them ourselves, let's find someone who can.
We must learn to stop, and to get quiet, and to put ourselves into the situations of our friends so that we can begin to feel the weight of their burdens and the extent of their needs. And then, instead of only praying for them, let us lay down our possessions, our time, and our help, at their feet, for Jesus' sake. In other words, let's love on them in ways that matter.
Consider, if you have a friend who is going thorough marital and/or parental hardship, what do they need? What if their beloved pet has died? What if they're enduring sickness? What if they're children with absentee parents? What if they're injured? What if they hate their job? What if they've lost their job -- what do they need? What if their vehicle has broken down?; their parent has died?; they're moving to a new place?; they're being deployed?; they're changing vocations?; they're depressed?; they're lonely?; they're poor? Think, and pray; and then do something, friend.
The call of this post is for more deliberate, and less casual, and distinctly Christian, friendship.
"Heavenly Father, may we get over ourselves, and become a blessing." Jesus will smile.
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.
1 Jn 3:18
No comments:
Post a Comment